You may have noticed some of these "things" posts out in blog land... It started out here with, Jess' Things I"m Afraid To Tell You and then Ez turned into a "movement" and now Meg from Mimi+Meg was inspired to keep the momentum going and included me in her round up this time around.

Basically, the whole point of this is to show a little bit of the reality behind all of our lives. Have you ever read a magazine article, blog post, watched a tv show, or even a commercial and got sucked into the trap of thinking or worst, even believing that there is some unattainable level of perfection out there that you are not meeting up to? I know I have! If you catch me on the wrong day, despite being old enough to know better...I too can be vulnerable to this type of thinking as well.
I think of this blog as a bit of a show, putting only my best side forward intentionally, and not really revealing a whole lot about my personal life or any of the "not so pretty" bits. I mean the whole premise here is really great design and style. But, I would never want anyone to ever read The Zhush and come away from it thinking that I've got it all together and lead a perfect life.

No one leads a perfect life.  I could take some photos of what our house really looks like on any given day, not the stylized version that was printed in a magazine.  (But, really, who wants to look at a messy house?)  Half of the belongings were props that went back home with the stylist that day! It's the pretty parts of life that make the harder parts bearable isn't it?  Sometimes we want to believe in the fantasy, that's truly the allure of magazines and blogs.  But, I know first hand that sometimes all this believing can be too much, and we can be too hard on ourselves.

So in an effort to give a little insight and some transparency here are a few things "I'm afraid to tell you."

1. I had wanted to start a blog in 2008, and it took me over a year to work up the courage to do so. I'll often tell people it was on "a whim", but really it was more like a brave moment finally connected in my brain, and then, that day, on a whim...I went with it. My "whim" is really the fashion equivalent of "this old thing? I just threw it together, I've had it forever." That's another thing... I never just throw something together, on any given day I've probably torn my closet apart in an effort just to look presentable, it can be exhausting.
2. I've been talking about starting to paint again (I was a fine arts minor in college) and I'm now battling the same negative chatter in my head (see number 1). It will probably take me many more months to get past my own inner critic.

3. I have a tendency to be overly sensitive at times and I dread any type of conflict or controversy.  I go out of my way to avoid it. I always have. Imagine the type of lawyer I made back when I practiced in New York City. Way to know oneself...

4. I often get e-mails from readers asking how I manage three kids, this blog, the store, etc. Usually they are from young moms looking for life balance advice. First off, I don't really manage...juggle is a bit more apt, and every other day I literally drop a ball or two...and I have HELP!  The word "balance" makes me want to scream.

5. I sweat the small stuff and the smallest things have the potential to set me off in a jealous downward thought spiral. Most days I'm immune to such nonsense, but then suddenly, bam..a fit, young, yoga mom at check out in front of me in the supermarket, a friend's ultra organized and super clean house, a family of really well behaved kids in a restaurant. You name it, I've been jealous of it. I compare and mentally berate myself for NOT being whatever the insecurity du jour is.

6. I dread my Birthday every. year. I have a lot of hangups about aging and getting older. A Lot.  It's my Achilles Heel.  I don't like a lot of attention focused on me on my Birthday, but if it gets ignored, I'll freak! Basically, I expect everyone around me to be a mind reader, even though my own thoughts on this day are a bit of a mystery to myself.

Clearly, I'm only just glossing over a few things here, not because I don't want readers to know I'm flawed, or because I have an aversion to keeping things real.  Life is real enough.  Yours, Mine, all of it.  I enjoy blogs for a quick diversion, and I assume my readers do too. But, it does feel good once in a while to do a reality check...everyone has their own fears, anxieties, insecurities and odd quirks. Everyone.

So, if you want more peeks behind the proverbial curtain, I highly recommend checking out all these incredible blogs participating today.  Some of them really go there, and are a lot more brave than yours truly.  Not an easy task, trust me....

 Coco + Kelley / Court & HudsonSacramento StreetMy Cup of TeCrystal Gentilello / MIMI+MEG / The Decorista / Modern Eve / Apartment 34Design Blahg / Vmac & Cheese / Miles to StyleLife in a Venti Cup  / Radiant Republic / Savvy Home / The Doctor's Closet / Design Manifest / Because It's Awesome /{extra}ordinary wonders / Sparkling Footsteps / Hitha On The Go / Note To Self / So Much To Smile AboutBlogstar / The Goods Design / Style & Pepper / Small Shop Studio  / Long Distance Loving / Maggie Rose BlogThe City Girl In Me / The Best Laid PlansConcrete Jungle DC / Food Fashion Fitness / East Coast Chic
Thanks again to Jess for her initial post, and to Ez for starting the movement. And, finally,
Here are the bloggers that participated in Ez's Wave No.1 of Things I'm Afraid To Tell You:
Design for Mankind | Little Brown Pen | Beautiful Hello | Curating Style | Sweet Fine Day | The Jealous Curator | Happy Days | Sage & Berries | Really Handmade | Peck Life | Satsuma Press | Rena Tom | For the Easily Distracted | The Hemborg Wife | Vitamini Handmade | Courtney Khail Stationery and Design | Meg in Progress | Dando Photography Blog | Widdershins22 | Alison Citron | Pink Moon Daily | Just Pretty Things | From China Village | Tea with Me | The Darling Ewe | Not Your Average Ordinary | The Electric Typewriter | Elleby Design | Parsimonia {Secondhand With Style} | Life as an Artistpreneur | Hello Cupcake | Dellie | The A & B Stories | Pretty Little Things | Feistyelle | Nib & Zed | Well and Cheaply | I Ripple. I Dance. | Whitfield Awesome Blog | Foxtrot Press | Dry As Toast | The List of Now | Apple Blue | For the Love of | Four Flights of Fancy | Miss Modish | Snapshots & Secrets | Dirty Laundry | Bubby & Bean | Penelope's Press | Little Nostalgia | Vale Design | Pikaland | Fleurishing | Print Pretty | Vespa Tales | Hazel & Agnes | Amanda's Musings | Mo' Funk Designs | Ordinary Mommy | Camp 1899 | In Honor of Design | Liberty's Yarn | Love, Life & Pictures | Stacey Winters | Owl in the Rain | Living Life Creatively | Emma Elizabeth Clease | I Live in Vacouver Now | British Cream Tea


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